Marijo 的个人资料Personal Transformation照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
My visit with a ShamanWhen I returned from my trip, I went to see a
shaman. I shared some of my transformation journey, and in that
moment, I knew that I was "in between" - that uncomfortable place in the
transformation process where you have let go and the future is not clear or
certain. I was in surrender, in a place where I was able to truly let
go of those things from the past few weeks and be open to change. After
our brief chat and a description of what might happen (since everyone's
experience is different), we were ready to start. My job was to "stay
open". Check!
The shaman started his ritual with chants. I could feel a wash of
emotion come over me the first few minutes and it was refreshing and
emotional. I felt like I was remembering, his voice echoed in my
soul. As he continued, I started to feel waves of what felt like
electricity flow through me every few minutes. Every time a different
guide was present, I could feel his/her presence. It was an amazing
feeling, and even today (in this moment, in fact) I can still feel those
waves. I know that each of us has guides that are with us always, and I
could feel their presence that day and ever since. Often I feel their
presence during meditation and during Reiki sessions. I now pause often
during the day to say hello and express my gratitude. Given a choice, I
would much rather have a day with guides than without!
Next - I reconstruct my personality
"Death of the Ego" Part 2I happened to attend a conference with Debbie Ford, who wrote the book "Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
 ". My friends - with great intention who knew what I was going through - were coaching me to "just let it go, put down the fight". One of my faults is that I take things seriously (okay, perhaps too much) and really work through things deeply. I tried to let it go, and yet, was having difficulty with it. I wanted to resolve what was going on.What I learned in Debbie's workshop was a path to letting go, which was invaluable. In a nutshell, our ego is there for protection and serves a healthy function. When we use these things inappropriately, to excess, as our first response, etc. - these are the times that we are not served. It's good to sometimes be bitchy or angry, and there are times when it is inappropriate to not be angry. Furthermore, we need to enroll the ego in our lives - a healthy ego has healthy boundaries. Sounds simple, but this is actually part of Mastery of Self.
After this workshop, I spent nearly 2 days by myself - no phones, radios, TV, etc., and I was able to keep digging deeper and deeper into my own ego and self and really explore my landscape. At the end of two days, I was messy and vulnerable. And, I was in a very good place, because for the first time in as long as I could remember, I was in a place of absolute authenticity. I could see myself at my deepest core, in my simplest form. No masks. No shadow. I was empty and full at the same time. In my meditation, I was instructed to learn from everyone - "even homeless people". Everyone had something for me, and my task for the next month was to listen.
I took a trip with my husband and was feeling good, happy (you know, that "vacation space"). While on vacation, I had an encounter with a homeless man that completely inspired me. He was in a car accident and lost his wife, his son, his home, his job, and nearly lost his leg. His goal was to walk to the top of a hill. The day before, he stopped one block early because the pain stopped him. He knew that when he made it to the top of the hill, he had made it back. And, he learned along the way a lot about himself and life. I gave him $20 to get a good meal, and he didn't ask for it or want it. I asked him to keep building his strength so he could pay it forward - others need to be inspired by him, too. He taught me valuable lessons that day about humility, purpose, love, and courage, and I am very grateful.
Next - My Experience With a Shaman
All the best! Love, Me
"Death of the Ego" Part 1I have officially changed the title of my blog that symbolizes and solidifies my true purpose. I have long worked in the field of change, having worked with large scale organizations for many years. My focus is now not on change but rather transformation - one person at a time. Part of that change requires focusing on my own growth as well as assisting and guiding others in their journey.
For many years, I have been working on "my own change", and I will admit, not necessarily with great progress. I was a "change junkie", and it's only until recently that I have truly started to heal and really transform. For years I couldn't see what was right before my eyes in terms of my relationships, my beliefs, my attitudes and my whole way of being. It is sort of like the guy who was looking for his keys under the lamp post when he dropped them by the door. The reason? "The light was better over there." How many times are we looking in places where it is comfortable and within what we think we can "handle", rather than look at what is really required to achieve our dreams and our full purpose?
A few weeks ago, I was having a rather bizarre experience, and one that was so rich in learning. I was attending a weekend personal development seminar. What "came up" for me was seeing the truth of what I do - how I am in relationships, my own belief systems, the way that I look to connect on a superficial level with others, how I do a lot of things to "look good" and "be good", my lack of self reliance (contrary to my firmly held belief). It was as if the caIdron of all my crap was being stirred up all at once. I was able to see it so clearly, so powerfully, in such volume that I went into a tail spin. For two weeks, I was up to all kinds of mischief - thoughts of suicide, deep depression, etc. And, simultaneously, I could also see right through all of it. I had a battle raging within me, and was watching this unfold. On some level, it was surreal. For years, I had been stuffing and hiding this away, and my ego was in full revolt.
Tomorrow - Death of the Ego and the Triumph
All the best! Love, Me
Humility - what's "right" with it?Yesterday, I wrote about working thru Entering the Castle and the topic of humility. I promised that today I would provide my list of 10 positive associations of humility and insights that I learned. Here's my list:
I had a few observations. First, I typed the list as I wrote it in my journal, including punctuation. I noticed that for the positive statements, I had much more detail and I wrote in all small letters versus the other list. I also felt much more "at home" in writing this list, and I could feel and see the past experiences, humiliation and defensiveness coming through in the other list.
I have become friends with a neighbor couple here, and have been conducting Reiki sessions with the wife who has a leg injury from an accident last fall. It was "out of character" for me to ask her if she knew Reiki and if she was interested in me doing Reiki with her. In return, she did a hypno-therapy session with me today. Wow, what an experience! In fact, these have opened up deep spiritual experiences for both of us.
I am full of gratitude and also feel very humble in these sessions, that I am a part of something much bigger. I am everything on this list, and more. I feel alive and full of joy, like I have come home! Woo hoo!
Have a joyful day! ~~ East Coast Living ~~
Humility - what's "wrong" with it?I have been working through Caroline Myss' Entering The Castle book - it's a roadmap to help you connect with your soul. The roadmap is laid out as seven mansions, with multiple rooms in each mansion. Each room has a theme to help you look deeper within.
The first mansion is "The power of prayer, humility, chaos and divine seduction". One of the first themes examines humility versus humiliation, and helps us (helped me) see the many ways that we have been humiliated and therefore, construct our lives to avoid humiliation. Working through these experiences and our limiting beliefs helps us clear out the baggage and open ourselves to seeing many more choices and possibilities. This is a lot like what coaches and therapists work on with their clients. What was different for me is the concept of humiliation - it struck a deeper chord for me and helped me look deeper within to the raw emotion underneath.
Caroline writes that we do not value humility in our cultures, and in fact, easily confuse humility and humiliation. In one of the rooms, we are asked to write 10 positive associations and 10 negative associations of humility. I'll work backwards and start with my list of 10 negative characteristics, messages and beliefs. Tomorrow I'll write the 10 positive and my insights in doing this exercise. It was quite interesting what I learned.
Ten Negative Associations
What does your list look like?
All the best! ~~ East Coast Living ~~
Change is in the air....I happened to open my space and lo and behold, I see the last entry from Istanbul. Not an encouraging note to leave out there for so long.
So what has been up? Many, many things. I am making a slight career change and migrating away from the project consulting to coaching and personal development work. I took on the role of President of a local company, and I have been home since the beginning of March. And, I love it! It has been great to be around, I feel like I am married (and so does my husband). I have given up the world traveling, at least for a while. I am enjoying that I can put down some roots here and get to know the NJ community. Very, very nice.
And, a lot has been going on with me personally. I will (promise) to blog a bit more about this and be more diligent. In many ways, I feel like a new person and at the same time, I feel like I am coming home to myself.
All the best! ~~~ East Coast Living ~~~
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